Weekend

Jostled. Jarred. My experience in this country so far is nothing but a series of plane rides, bus rides, car rides and waiting.

Sitting in an IHOP at five in the morning. Warm inside. Safe from the cold. She smiled. But it wasn't for her. She couldn't be selfish if she tried. The warmth surrounded me. Surrounded us. Her hand slowly gaining feeling as I rubbed it for her. We looked at the Christmas tree. Her head on my shoulder.

I try to sleep, quite a feat in economy class. The lack of leg room leads to contortions normally reserved for the circus. I still haven't slept. I nod off. I wake up when the plane changes direction of altitude or bumps. The stern resolve to die with dignity before the information is processed.

"This is the most EuroCentric International List of Crepes I've ever seen." She laughed. A genuine laugh. For just a moment she forgot why we're here: breakfast before I'm gone for a year. In that one, gossimer moment we are together for ever in this spot. This is the epiphany Keates spoke so highly of. To live in this one moment. Forever. Truely that would be heaven.

I'd rather go to hell than purgatory. At least hell is honest. It's cold on the plane. It's freezing in the bathrooms. My breath freezes. My foot aches with the pain normally reserved for full days of hiking over rough terrain. My I nod off, my leg falls asleep. I wake up. I watch Pineapple Express for the third time. I don't understand the plot, i just want something somewhat familiar. I nod off. Repeat.

We are intertwined now. She puts her four foot long legs across my lap. I pretend to kiss her but tell her a secret instead.
"I love you."
And her eyes radiate like a thousand suns and we are even warmer than we were. This is the last time I will be warm for a year. Will she still provide it when I return? These questions are drowned in the elegance of the moment and the only thing is us when she whispers her secret.
"I love you, too."
Our food arrives.

I'm on a bus now. The heat is broken. I wear my trenchcoat like a blanket. This is the last bus out of Seoul tonight. Had I stopped to use the bathroom I would be sleeping in the airport. Everywhere around me there is neon. Lights, colors, clothes. This is an optical assault without at least an hour of sleep. We bounce and jumble down the highway and I hope to the god I don't believe in that someone, anyone can take me to a bed.

I wake up dizzy. I always do. She is holding me from behind. She's been asleep for sometime. There is a wet spot near my shoulders, where he face was at one point. I missed the session but I know the evidence. I roll over to kiss her in the warmth and softness of her bed and our bodies.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?"
"I will be."