The Flu

"What the hell is this place?" I have asked myself this question before but not in this context.


The walk to work was as dirty as ever. They have an interesting approach to sanitation here. The technology skips are interesting here. Cell phones are so cheap that a Korean child will acquire a new phone once or twice a year yet I have yet to see a dumpster anywhere in Korea, including Seoul. Garbage trucks patrol the streets looking for piles of trash into the early hours of the morning. Food waste has it's own special container and in the summer it in not unusual to see hordes of flies crowding around spoiled kim chi and rotten noodles. Toilets, sinks, and even the occasion bath tub lie in the open lots surrounding my apartment complex. Nature trails are never as pristine as they are back home. I've heard from fellow teachers that we foreigners are to blame for the expired mon-doo and rotting chopsticks scattered around town.

Yet walking into the old school today was stranger than usual. The swine flu has always buzzed in the background of this place. You know the swine flu with the .42% mortality rate. Well that buzzed like a fly in my ear every once in a while. A case reported here. A school shut down there. Nothing ever direct. Today the flu barged into my life. The secretaries roam the halls spraying anti-bacterial crap. The students visit a mandatory sanitizing hand lotion stand between classes. Masks wait at the door for anyone to take. Some say they mark the sick, other say it wards of disease. I think it just breeds disease as bacteria laden breath is trapped in by the filter and grows if the masks aren't changed or washed frequently. I wore a mask for irony's sake. A child tried to convince me he had a better mask, that I wore a beggar's mask.

So while the school is scrubbed and boiled and bleached into cleanliness oblivion while the streets, even in my suburb, buzz with the last flies of the summer. Munching on old galbi and potato pancakes.

It's almost a secular religion here, the cleanliness. Whether in relation to race, facial hair, or apartment, clean and pure and squared away is how it's supposed to be. It's almost a superstition the way the secretaries parade around the halls spraying the righteous air sanitizer amongst the foul foreigners attempting corrupt the children. The absolute certainty that the masks combat anything except the dignity of the wearer and the flies buzzing around outside are just the work of the white devil.

Ah, Lincoln

What could ever compare to you, my first geographic love? My first metropolitan love? What could ever truly compare?

Here I am on the other side of the world, with a strange and comfortably tense relationship to Korea. The kids are fun, even inspirational, and the people are nice, even pleasant. We have a community here, now. One I've come to enjoy for what it is. I'm more here in Asia than I've ever been before. I'm better off here now than I was three months ago. Even a month ago. The arrival of the new people has been good for me. And I have come to, dare I say...like it here?

Oh but, Lincoln, Nebraska you were so damned good to me, even when you didn't have to.

I ate at a sushi restaurant, or I should say Korea's absurd take on a sushi restaurant. My co-workers called it a sushi restaurant. I called it what it was, a bait shop. I might be ten months gone at this point but I know fish food when I see it. I know it even better when I smell it. This restaurant, whatever the hell it's name is, presented me for the first time in years with a sincere desire for a fishing pole. After the meal I could have gotten a doggie bag and gone down to the river and caught bass.

What was on the menu?

You know the skin of fish, the outside part that's usually some degree of grey? They just sliced that off and tossed it on some rice. No cooking, as you'd expect. Just tossed it on some rice. They did manage to get a little cooking done, the flash-fried fish was truly horrific. I don't want to feel like apologizing to my meal. There it was though. Dead fish looking at me with a look of unfettered sorrow. The best part being that wasn't the worst. Have you ever eaten food that could play with you? I have. They just got an octopus and cut it's arms (or legs) off and put them on a plate and you eat them. Yeah, still moving and everything. They suction on to your tongue and don't taste like anything. They just squirm there on the plate and in your stomach.

Yes, Lincoln my love. You will always have this place beat. I miss beef, Mexican food and Camel Cigarettes still.